


Oh so blue

by HeyGina



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (a bit), Angst, Brainwashing, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Crying, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hydra, Hydra (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, M/M, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Winter Soldier training, Torture, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, bucky as the winter soldier, im so sorry, this is awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 03:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12380220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyGina/pseuds/HeyGina
Summary: “His turn.”He knows. He knows it’s his turn, and he doesn’t hesitate as he lifts his left arm, places his finger on the trigger, aims at the prisoner’s head, covered by a bag–But then the bag is pulled out and he freezes.(In which Hydra happens to find someone who looks uncannily like a certain Steve Rogers, and it’s the perfect chance to test how much of Bucky Barnes remains in the Winter Soldier.)





	Oh so blue

The Soldier stands still. As still as he can.

He holds a gun in his hand, but he doesn’t shake anymore. He stopped shaking days ago.

He looks ahead, eyes glued to the wall, and the sound of voices around him seems to drift far away. The last gunshot still resonates in the room, and he can almost smell the blood at his feet, but it’s nothing new. It’s nothing new.

“We’re gonna be able to send him out after this,” a man in a suit, to his right, says to a second one – but he barely registers it, because it’s not his place to register it. He only registers commands and orders barked at him. The rest is useless, unimportant.

The door opens again, and the same man that carried out the woman’s body returns – this time dragging someone with him. He doesn’t look, but hears stifled cries and trashing as the man positions the prisoner in front of him, over the pool of blood no one has bothered cleaning.

“Soldier.”

His body stiffens and his eyes meet the man in the suit’s, who simply points at the newly arrived one with his head.

“His turn.”

He knows. He knows it’s his turn, and he doesn’t hesitate as he lifts his left arm, places his finger on the trigger, aims at the prisoner’s head, covered by a bag–

But then the bag is pulled out and he freezes. It only lasts a second, but he freezes, staring at the person in front of him. He’s short, his blond hair is ruffled and he struggles to breathe, but still he looks up, his eyes –blue eyes,  _so blue_ – scanning his surroundings as if he had a way out.

He doesn’t.

The Soldier snaps out of it before anyone notices and pulls the trigger.

Because that’s what he does. That’s what they’ve commanded him to do, what he’s been doing for days, over and over again. Because he doesn’t feel a thing. Because he is to comply, he exists to do so – and it means nothing. Nothing. The woman he killed means nothing and the dozens he killed before her mean nothing and the small man with blond hair and blue  _oh so blue_  eyes definitely means nothing.

That’s why that night, when he’s back in the cold, dark square that is his cell – he fails to comprehend why he can’t stop crying.

**Author's Note:**

> This was born after a random "what if hydra made bucky kill someone he loved at some point to make sure james barnes was gone?" and it kind of morphed into this - would Bucky have killed Steve back then? I guess we'll never know.  
> Comments are highly appreciated if you enjoyed :) [come say hi on tumblr!](http://cvptainbucky.tumblr.com/post/166456333889/oh-so-blue)


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